Dan's Daily Guides to British Culture

Daniel began his intro to the British culture for me with short guides like this one about the different ,hm, tribes in the UK . I found it very informative and useful for when wandering the streets and, I admit, categorizing people… Here they go:

Thugs/Hooligans

Habitat: Football matches, dodgy boozers*, meat-market nightclubs**

Identification: Usually pot-bellied, sporting tattoos from prison, heavily sun-burnt if given the opportunity

Most likely to say: “what are you looking at mate?”, “are you staring at my bird***?”

Mating habits: violent

*boozers is slang for pub

** meat-markets is slang for night clubs where people go to pick up

*** bird is slang for woman

Chavs

Habitat: Park benches, hanging around outside an off-license (liquor store), shopping malls

Identification: Baseball caps, Burberry check, malnourished, bad skin from drinking or taking drugs

Most likely to say: “gis a fag****”, “’scuse me mister will you buy some booze for me?”

Mating habits: promiscuous

****fag usually means cigarette in Britain

Pikeys

Habitat: Camped illegally on a farmers field, or by the side of the road, usually close to urban areas (London & Southeasthern England)

Identification: difficult, young specimens are likely to sport patchy facial hair

Most likely to say: “do you want your drive tarmacced?”, “’where are ma daaags?”

Mating habits: keepin’ it in the family

Hipsters

Habitat: ‘up and coming’ urban areas

Identification: skin tight drain pipe jeans, similarly tight t-shirt, riding a 20 year old racing bike pretending to be a cycle messenger

Most likely to say: “I’m looking for the drama / fashion school…”

Mating habits: experimental

Toffs

Habitat: the country manor, big horse race meetings, Henley regatta

Identification: lots of tweed, riding jodhpurs, driving a range rover

Most likely to say: “tally ho old bean… can I have a glass of Pimms?”

Mating habits: marriages of convenience

Depeche Mode - It's Our Hobby

Like most Brits, I associate Depeche Mode with good, but slightly past it synth-pop. Something to be revered in a distinctly 80’s way, like day glo socks or a pair of Reebok Pumps. Hence I was rather shocked to learn of their fanatical support elsewhere, especially Eastern Europe. Dave Gahan, Depeche Mode’s lead singer, who could spend all day walking around his home town of Basildon without anyone batting an eyelid, is apparently somewhat of a God outside the UK. Legions of young followers, Depechists, follow Dave religiously – even, if you can believe it, marching on his birthday.

Apparently not every Brit is as ignorant of Depeche’s legendary status as I was. Turner Prize-winning artist Jeremy Deller and collaborator Nicholas Abrahams found it so interesting that they made a film about it. The Posters Came From the Walls is a fascinating insight into their fans. But it is more, much more, than just a fan flick. The film transcends Depeche Mode themselves and becomes a genuine insight into one of the most important generations of our time; the youth of the ’89 revolution. This youth embraced Depeche Mode’s music as the music of change - the soundtrack to the fall of the Berlin Wall. I doubt, sadly, Depeche themselves realise this.

The film starts with a focus on a pair of rather cringe-worthy pair of US teenagers, but soon develops into a really touching, and heart-warming, expose into the fans who consider Depeche Mode an integral part of their culture. When the film focuses on a group of thirty-something Germans, recounting their first experience of live western music (hence the title of the film) when the band played East Berlin in ’88, you start to realise the pivotal, if accidental role, they probably played in the revolution.

Photo: Michael Putland

The Posters Came From the Walls is easily one of the best films I’ve seen all year. When, at the end of the film, a homeless British man recounts how his only possessions for years were a Sony Walkman and a copy of 101, and how this, he believes, helped him to get back onto his feet, I genuinely felt moved to tears. Deller and Abrahams have far more than just created another music documentary; they have created an exquisite and engaging account of one of the most important cultural phenomena of our generation.

The Posters Came from the Walls isn't on general release, but the directors hope to get it distributed more widely soon. For more information see the documentary's official site.

How I Hate Conclusions...

Long time no blog!

Daniel and I tossed a £ about a month ago to decide who should break the silence. It was on him. A month later however, I am gracefully taking the initiative, and will kindly ask you to pretend he had already posted his “breaking the silence” entry. It will only put more pressure on him to actually write it and save me some time making up excuses. Good.

Now, I have been out of college since early summer and waiting to start work for the past couple of months (courtesy of the bad cops at the Border Agency, UK). Bumming around in London while most of my friends are enjoying their final year of college, or even better, planning for grad school, or, my favorite, writing clever papers in grad school (nod to Mia: send that minimalist thing along, mujer!!), has made me miss and reminisce about school. To the extent of buying myself a GRE book. Of course I bought the wrong book, the one without the actual preparation materials and just several practice tests.. That and the fact that I will actually have to work for a couple of years helped me come up with a creative method to fight my school-cravings.

It’s very simple really; remembering the aspects of college work which I didn’t like so much. And for me, there is one uncontested winner; having to write conclusions to my papers.

I hate writing conclusions with a passion. I hate it so much that I would rarely (dis)grace my college papers with conclusions. The surprising thing (and one that led me to appreciate how cool my profs were) is that professors never gave me a hard time about it (this talk is about humanities papers btw, I did abandon my principles for econ). Actually, the only time a prof remarked that the last paragraph of my paper was, errrm, not conclusive, it only took confessing I am an anti-conclusionist for him to admit that he got furious every time he had to write one. YES!!

Below are just a couple of improvised reasons why conclusions are a very dated concept

• It’s disrespectful to the reader! It is, I swear. Most conclusions do little more than summarize the “main” points of an argument. I find this quite condescending to dear reader. They have already read your fantastically complex thoughts and don’t need to have everything conveniently chewed and spat out at the end. For one thing, it doesn’t encourage creativity...
• it is inhumane to the writer. I know I can’t speak for writers, but for me writing papers was a painfully and exhilaratingly dramatic process. By the time I had assembled the jigsaw puzzle of the argument my mental powers had suffered a considerable blow.. You don’t get interesting conclusions like that…

So, what do you say? Are you a conclusionist or did I overkill it ;)

Putting things into perspective

I often find it surprising how quickly people forget the past. Not that long ago life was quite different. My postman, for instance, did not drive a BMW. Porsches were for rich, intelligent, and successful people – not estate agents. I can still remember how awestruck I was when, as a little boy, I saw my first Ferrari. Today conspicuous consumption, or at least the signs of past conspicuous consumption, is everywhere. Today’s little Daniels, I imagine, barely bat an eyelid when a Bentley passes by.

For most of my childhood I received pocket money of 50 pence a week. One shiny little coin. Several weeks of hard saving would pass by before little Daniel could even afford a matchbox car. My first job, as a paperboy, required getting up at 6am every day, even before school, to deliver newspapers for an hour. Had I not been volunteering it probably would have classified as slave labour. My only solace was the beer and cigarettes it would afford me at the end of the week. That said, I didn’t have much time to enjoy them, as I usually spent most of my weekend catching up on lost sleep.

a fruit of my hard saved pocket money

My somewhat exaggerated self-pity pales into insignificance compared to my fathers childhood. Born in the 1950’s, into a poor area of London, unbelievably he did not have electricity in his house until he was 11. Bath time for my father was a weekly event, situated outside in the garden, even in the middle of the winter, with bath water shared with the rest of the family. Quite unimaginable given they lived just a few miles from central London. Unsurprisingly, given their reliance on candles and gas lights, fires were a continual hazard and not before long their house burnt to the ground.

When you consider that, a mere 40 odd years ago, there were people living in developed cities like this, it helps to put things into perspective. Despite the continual doom in the media, life isn’t that bad. Yes people are losing their jobs, and yes I feel bad for them, but it isn’t the end of the world. Yet. Unemployment might be increasing rapidly, but don’t forget it is starting from a very low base. In the UK, for instance, it is still substantially less than when Labour came into power back in 1997.

UK unemployment rate, source: DataInsight

Ireland, much like the UK, has also been taking its fair share of criticism lately. According to the Telegraph – “the Celtic Tiger is dead, and its cubs are thinking of leaving”. Well, for all the troubles Ireland is in at the moment, it is still measurably better off than even a few years ago. As you can see below, Ireland’s real GDP has doubled in the last 10 years. I doubt even the most pessimistic Cassandra expects Ireland’s GDP to fall 50%. Even if it did, it’s not like Ireland 10 years ago was an uninhabitable wasteland full of starving children and mass unemployment.

Ireland Real GDP, source: DataInsight

So life goes on. We still have many innovations - the internet, mobile phones, and cheap flights to name just a few –that we take for granted and that barely even existed 10 years ago. I still have my friends, a loving family, and a wonderful girlfriend. The UK is not about to sink. Ireland is not dead. Friends who lose their jobs will find new ones. Bad companies will get acquired or replaced by good ones. Undeniably life for some people will be hard, but I don’t foresee people in London going back to bathing once a week and living without electricity.

London takes a day off

Yesterday I made the mistake of flippantly telling my mum we had more chance of Santa coming down the chimney next Christmas than serious snow falling in London. Well mum, I apologise - I'll start baking the cookies now. Today has seen the most snow fall in London for 20 years. And everything is shut, broken, or suffering from 'adverse weather conditions'. Not that I'm complaining - it would be pretty stupid to invest in precautions for a 1 in 20 year event.

Rather than worrying about getting to work, most people seemed to be out enjoying themselves. Me? Well after missing out on a couple of snowboarding seasons due to lack of money, I jumped at the chance to get my snowboard out.

New Job!!

Have been looking for a part time job for a while - not earning any money and living in London is the stuff that gives bank managers nightmares (especially mine...). Thankfully I've just found something that is right up my street. It is a startup in the location / recommendation / web space which fits really nicely with what Phil, Chris, and I were looking at last year with Puls8. I'm sure I'll be pitching in with all sorts (I've heard that tends to be the way with startups), but my main task will be internet marketing - primarily helping drive new traffic to the site. I'm really looking forward to starting, and hopefully I'll be able to apply some of the concepts from my internet marketing course to a real business. Anyway, I may as well start now, so if you are reading this please visit Qype :)