Dan's Daily Guides to British Culture

Daniel began his intro to the British culture for me with short guides like this one about the different ,hm, tribes in the UK . I found it very informative and useful for when wandering the streets and, I admit, categorizing people… Here they go:

Thugs/Hooligans

Habitat: Football matches, dodgy boozers*, meat-market nightclubs**

Identification: Usually pot-bellied, sporting tattoos from prison, heavily sun-burnt if given the opportunity

Most likely to say: “what are you looking at mate?”, “are you staring at my bird***?”

Mating habits: violent

*boozers is slang for pub

** meat-markets is slang for night clubs where people go to pick up

*** bird is slang for woman

Chavs

Habitat: Park benches, hanging around outside an off-license (liquor store), shopping malls

Identification: Baseball caps, Burberry check, malnourished, bad skin from drinking or taking drugs

Most likely to say: “gis a fag****”, “’scuse me mister will you buy some booze for me?”

Mating habits: promiscuous

****fag usually means cigarette in Britain

Pikeys

Habitat: Camped illegally on a farmers field, or by the side of the road, usually close to urban areas (London & Southeasthern England)

Identification: difficult, young specimens are likely to sport patchy facial hair

Most likely to say: “do you want your drive tarmacced?”, “’where are ma daaags?”

Mating habits: keepin’ it in the family

Hipsters

Habitat: ‘up and coming’ urban areas

Identification: skin tight drain pipe jeans, similarly tight t-shirt, riding a 20 year old racing bike pretending to be a cycle messenger

Most likely to say: “I’m looking for the drama / fashion school…”

Mating habits: experimental

Toffs

Habitat: the country manor, big horse race meetings, Henley regatta

Identification: lots of tweed, riding jodhpurs, driving a range rover

Most likely to say: “tally ho old bean… can I have a glass of Pimms?”

Mating habits: marriages of convenience